Wow I can't believe a whole month has gone by!! During the past month I have run into a lot of things that I was unprepared for. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't write all these things down so in the future I can be fully prepared on how i'm going to handle them.
First was my follow up appt which brought good news. (no need to prepare for that) I was told to wait through 2 cycles and then we could start trying again. Given my history my dr will start us on fertility treatments right away!! VERY GOOD NEWS!! Now the waiting through 2 cycles......thats the tough part. As those struggling through infertility know each month seems to take forever and at times it's all you can do to get through each day. Thankfully my Tyler understands this and helps me keep as busy as possible.
Last week we had fair week. Bailee shows pigs every year and we have to spend the entire week at the fairgrounds. It's too far to drive home every day. I was unprepared for all the people I would run into that didn't know about our recent loss. Most knew I was pregnant and so I had to explain over and over why I wasn't anymore. It's hard enough going through a loss without having to relive it over and over. I had thought the word would have spread more but I was wrong thus teaching me how to handle each encounter. One thing i've learned is it's ok to cry in front of people if I feel like it. I don't intend to make them uncomfortable but hey they asked right. I'm grateful to have survived fair week and even more to be home! ;)
Another thing i've come across that caught me totally off guard is strangers knowing my story. It doesn't bother me if I can be an encouragement and witness to my faith. BUT really do strangers need to say anything??? Where has common curtesy gone? I was calling parents of 4H kids yesterday to schedule them for a fundraising event. Not something I really wanted to do in the first place but there was no way out of it. One lady that picked up the phone actually blurted out at me "Oh your the one with all the losses! What a terrible thing that happened to you. How do you hold up every day?" Seriously my jaw dropped and I almost hung up the phone!! Sometimes it's better to just not say anything at all people! So after doing what I had to I then went and sat next to Tyler who was just as surprised as I was then mad that I had to encounter such a person. This phone call was early in the morning and caused me to 1) cry on and off for most of my morning and 2) put me in a state of panic when calling the rest of the kids.
Starting a new day today I realize I need to be more prepared for my own sake when coming across these situations. I must have responses waiting in the back of my mind. Just one more thing infertility puts in our path to conquer. With the strength of the Lord I can conquer at least this part of infertility.
Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:30-31